Friday, July 18, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The Spill Canvas [In My Brain]
I promise that soon I'll write something in here that's cohesive and brilliant (maybe even logical). For now, here's my vomit-draft (to quote my high school English teacher) on college thus far...
This year I learned that:
I’m so overwhelmed with thoughts that I don’t know how to articulate them anymore.
I like ice cream a lot. I could be much farther in my spiritual walk than I am—I’m just afraid of what God might call me to. Texting is a lame substitute for talking in person. I’m completely freaked out by people my age (or younger) getting married. Macbooks and spilled tea are an awful combination. I can’t live life always submitting the first draft. Naps aren’t just for old people anymore. I’m not as smart, clever, or awesome as I think I am. John Calvin, Thomas Hobbes, and Calvin and Hobbes are all interesting philosophers. Some bands get way better with time. I don’t appreciate my friends enough, and don’t adequately show the appreciation I do have. Siblings keep you humble. My parents are too amazing and sacrificial for words. Toll plaza passes make life way easier. I’m selfish. Even right-brained people need to know how to budget. Roommates were a good invention. There’s a crazy amount of grace covering my life. People skills are insanely valuable. Beating myself up about being human doesn’t accomplish anything. Poker is okay if you’re just betting with chips. It’s better to have a small part in a big project than a big part in a small one. I have hope. I’m not too old to learn new things that are totally unrelated to my major. I should use sun block more often. Beauty is not always subjective. Household chores can be very therapeutic. I’m afraid of failure—or even being average. I need lots of sleep to function. There are few things more valuable than having a mentor. Working out and dieting will never trump genetics. Sometimes I think I’m really unattractive. College gives you an opportunity to confront yourself—unless you’re too busy. Thinking is a use-it-or-lose-it skill. I’ll probably eat kosher for the rest of my life. Midnight conversations make life so much more comprehensible. Meeting people is one of my favorite hobbies. It’s worth being poor to go to a good school. I thought I would be a lot trendier by the time I got to college. Trends waste valuable money that could be spent in thrift stores. I’m lazy. Food service teaches you a lot about human nature. Sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend. Most of the time I’m thankful that I don’t. Just because something is required for a class doesn’t mean it’s worth complaining about. Spending the whole day on Facebook is pathetic…and kind of boring. Music puts a new perspective on everything. Sometimes you don’t need to upgrade. Real friends make the price of gas irrelevant. Blasting “Play That Funky Music, White Boy” can be a legitimate father-daughter bonding moment. I’m not ready to get old. Prayer isn’t optional. Who really gives a crap about the iPhone? True success is conquering your addictions. It doesn’t matter how much you know, just how much you grow.
This year I learned that:
I’m so overwhelmed with thoughts that I don’t know how to articulate them anymore.
I like ice cream a lot. I could be much farther in my spiritual walk than I am—I’m just afraid of what God might call me to. Texting is a lame substitute for talking in person. I’m completely freaked out by people my age (or younger) getting married. Macbooks and spilled tea are an awful combination. I can’t live life always submitting the first draft. Naps aren’t just for old people anymore. I’m not as smart, clever, or awesome as I think I am. John Calvin, Thomas Hobbes, and Calvin and Hobbes are all interesting philosophers. Some bands get way better with time. I don’t appreciate my friends enough, and don’t adequately show the appreciation I do have. Siblings keep you humble. My parents are too amazing and sacrificial for words. Toll plaza passes make life way easier. I’m selfish. Even right-brained people need to know how to budget. Roommates were a good invention. There’s a crazy amount of grace covering my life. People skills are insanely valuable. Beating myself up about being human doesn’t accomplish anything. Poker is okay if you’re just betting with chips. It’s better to have a small part in a big project than a big part in a small one. I have hope. I’m not too old to learn new things that are totally unrelated to my major. I should use sun block more often. Beauty is not always subjective. Household chores can be very therapeutic. I’m afraid of failure—or even being average. I need lots of sleep to function. There are few things more valuable than having a mentor. Working out and dieting will never trump genetics. Sometimes I think I’m really unattractive. College gives you an opportunity to confront yourself—unless you’re too busy. Thinking is a use-it-or-lose-it skill. I’ll probably eat kosher for the rest of my life. Midnight conversations make life so much more comprehensible. Meeting people is one of my favorite hobbies. It’s worth being poor to go to a good school. I thought I would be a lot trendier by the time I got to college. Trends waste valuable money that could be spent in thrift stores. I’m lazy. Food service teaches you a lot about human nature. Sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend. Most of the time I’m thankful that I don’t. Just because something is required for a class doesn’t mean it’s worth complaining about. Spending the whole day on Facebook is pathetic…and kind of boring. Music puts a new perspective on everything. Sometimes you don’t need to upgrade. Real friends make the price of gas irrelevant. Blasting “Play That Funky Music, White Boy” can be a legitimate father-daughter bonding moment. I’m not ready to get old. Prayer isn’t optional. Who really gives a crap about the iPhone? True success is conquering your addictions. It doesn’t matter how much you know, just how much you grow.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Of Sugar Highs and Simple Math
I did it. I lived the dream. Or rather, relived it.
Today I went off to Chinatown with my 70-something-odd grandmother and the 83-year-old man who's in love with her. She told me a few months ago that he's a great guy, but she's "not ready" to consider a relationship with him. In the meantime, he's happy to use his knee replacement surgery as an excuse to take her arm while crossing the street.
I didn't know what it'd be like wandering the crowded streets with a couple of senior citizens, but I figured it couldn't be that bad. Though I felt a little nervous when I spent the BART ride to the city teaching "O'Neal" how to program contacts into his cell phone.
Come to find out, one comment from the waitress at the Oriental Pearl set the mood for the day:
"Injoy yuh time with yuh babee girl!"
You remember those days? The times when you were spoiled, before there were younger siblings/cousins/kids for the adults to obsess over? Back when you were cute?
Yeah, that's what it felt like.
O'Neal, it must be said, has a pretty hefty pocketbook. And I didn't realize that until today, when he offered to buy nearly everything I pointed at. Of course I didn't take him up on it all, but as my aunt so nicely put it, "He's very chivalrous, and will insist on paying for lunch."
Not only that, but he insisted on sponsoring my efforts to get souvenirs for my family, which brought me from "I'd love to, but I'd have nothing in my checking account" to "Oooh, look what I found for Mom!" in about five seconds. No longer feeling like a poor college student, I scoured the trinket tables with gusto.
And I got paper lanterns for my room. I'm SO excited.
Then we went for ice cream. It was a lot, but I ate it anyway. While throwing some of my waffle cone to the pigeons for them to fight over, of course.
As we waited for the cable car, I gawked at the massive buildings. Talk about feeling short. I kind of liked the sensation, though. Just like the sugar buzz that made me babble on about nothing for an hour. I think I may still be on it, which is why I wrote such a long post.
Conclusion? I like college. And being grown up. And pseudo-rich-uncles probably don't do much to build my character.
But nothing makes a relaxing spring break like being a little kid.
Today I went off to Chinatown with my 70-something-odd grandmother and the 83-year-old man who's in love with her. She told me a few months ago that he's a great guy, but she's "not ready" to consider a relationship with him. In the meantime, he's happy to use his knee replacement surgery as an excuse to take her arm while crossing the street.
I didn't know what it'd be like wandering the crowded streets with a couple of senior citizens, but I figured it couldn't be that bad. Though I felt a little nervous when I spent the BART ride to the city teaching "O'Neal" how to program contacts into his cell phone.
Come to find out, one comment from the waitress at the Oriental Pearl set the mood for the day:
"Injoy yuh time with yuh babee girl!"
You remember those days? The times when you were spoiled, before there were younger siblings/cousins/kids for the adults to obsess over? Back when you were cute?
Yeah, that's what it felt like.
O'Neal, it must be said, has a pretty hefty pocketbook. And I didn't realize that until today, when he offered to buy nearly everything I pointed at. Of course I didn't take him up on it all, but as my aunt so nicely put it, "He's very chivalrous, and will insist on paying for lunch."
Not only that, but he insisted on sponsoring my efforts to get souvenirs for my family, which brought me from "I'd love to, but I'd have nothing in my checking account" to "Oooh, look what I found for Mom!" in about five seconds. No longer feeling like a poor college student, I scoured the trinket tables with gusto.
And I got paper lanterns for my room. I'm SO excited.
Then we went for ice cream. It was a lot, but I ate it anyway. While throwing some of my waffle cone to the pigeons for them to fight over, of course.
As we waited for the cable car, I gawked at the massive buildings. Talk about feeling short. I kind of liked the sensation, though. Just like the sugar buzz that made me babble on about nothing for an hour. I think I may still be on it, which is why I wrote such a long post.
Conclusion? I like college. And being grown up. And pseudo-rich-uncles probably don't do much to build my character.
But nothing makes a relaxing spring break like being a little kid.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Pour nous, "Colore Vivante" est la meilleur de les films petites...
So I found out that our Visual Aesthetics project has been on Youtube for a month.
Good thing I finally bothered asking Vange--I love my Asian.
Anyway, let me just say THANKS SO MUCH(!!!) to everyone at Biola who helped out with it...I find it humbling that you would do everything from walking around wearing garbage bags to skipping class for the sake of our short. It means a lot. And it got lots of compliments. :)
That's one small step for film...one giant leap for freshmen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd8xNScc594
(lower quality, but you know how it goes.)
Mmm, it feels like Friday.
Good thing I finally bothered asking Vange--I love my Asian.
Anyway, let me just say THANKS SO MUCH(!!!) to everyone at Biola who helped out with it...I find it humbling that you would do everything from walking around wearing garbage bags to skipping class for the sake of our short. It means a lot. And it got lots of compliments. :)
That's one small step for film...one giant leap for freshmen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd8xNScc594
(lower quality, but you know how it goes.)
Mmm, it feels like Friday.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
A Sunday smile in the face of an elephant gun...
I love/hate art.
It's easy for the math people...there's only one right answer. No one argues whether 2 + 2 = 5 in some cases, or suggests that we leave it open to interpretation. People aren't considered better or worse within the church based on whether they've chosen to work with algebra or trigonometry. And all of the rules are straightforward.
Then you have the film majors.
It's ridiculous the kinds of things people tell me or assume about me. Apparently I'm either
A) selling out on the faith
B) trying to save Hollywood from damnation like Abraham tried to save Sodom
C) going to push Jesus' agenda for Him until every movie that it cranks out is a dramatization of a book of the Bible
Survey says: D) None of the above.
I was involved in a long conversation about the role of Christians in entertainment this afternoon, and eventually just walked away and started banging on the piano. I'm a laid-back person, but...augh. No one seems to understand that people can use art that isn't "Christian"-labeled to glorify God...on purpose! To them it's either a fluke or sin. Regardless of its real effect.
[The neighbors are playing the theme to Hawaii-Five-O. Really loud.]
I can't look you in the eye and tell you that I know how to label every movie good or bad. I'm freaking eighteen. I'll probably be wrestling with the specifics my whole life. But I still chase art. I have to. I'm not meant for math.
I want Him to speak through my movies the same way He speaks through the sunset. Because even heathens love to watch sunsets.
It's easy for the math people...there's only one right answer. No one argues whether 2 + 2 = 5 in some cases, or suggests that we leave it open to interpretation. People aren't considered better or worse within the church based on whether they've chosen to work with algebra or trigonometry. And all of the rules are straightforward.
Then you have the film majors.
It's ridiculous the kinds of things people tell me or assume about me. Apparently I'm either
A) selling out on the faith
B) trying to save Hollywood from damnation like Abraham tried to save Sodom
C) going to push Jesus' agenda for Him until every movie that it cranks out is a dramatization of a book of the Bible
Survey says: D) None of the above.
I was involved in a long conversation about the role of Christians in entertainment this afternoon, and eventually just walked away and started banging on the piano. I'm a laid-back person, but...augh. No one seems to understand that people can use art that isn't "Christian"-labeled to glorify God...on purpose! To them it's either a fluke or sin. Regardless of its real effect.
[The neighbors are playing the theme to Hawaii-Five-O. Really loud.]
I can't look you in the eye and tell you that I know how to label every movie good or bad. I'm freaking eighteen. I'll probably be wrestling with the specifics my whole life. But I still chase art. I have to. I'm not meant for math.
I want Him to speak through my movies the same way He speaks through the sunset. Because even heathens love to watch sunsets.
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